We told you about this Six-Word Memoir Contest a few weeks back.

Our friends over at SmithMag (and our mutual friends over at PhillyMag) picked the top three last week and revealed them at their reading on the 16th. Here are the winners of the “It all happened here in Philadelphia” six-word memoir contest:

Mom put Tastykakes in my lunchbag
.- Al Cummings, San Francisco

Because the fat elf deserved it.
— Tim Piroli, Philadelphia

(Ed. Note: In the off chance this one makes no sense to you: story here.)

I can’t leave for some reason.
— Dan McQuade, Philadelphia

(Yup, it’s THAT Dan McQuade…and it should be noted that this six word memoir is twice as long as the memoir he’s told for years: “Philadelphia will do”)