First Person Arts

The mavens of “sketch documentary” at Shmitten Kitten (I think I might know a “puppy pimp“, by the way) also collect reader-submitted stories. This one’s a doozy:

On Halloween, I decided to be Spongebob, so I went out and got a HUGE authentic foam costume. It was more for crashing into annoying bikini-clad I’m a-cowgirl/naughty cop/nurse/fairy sorority bimbos at parties than anything else. So the costume was a hit and after much party hopping West Philly-style, I managed to fall down stairs, twice–although both times I saved my beer with no spillage!–and also got puked on by one of the aforementioned bimbos. [Ed. note from Anna: It's sounds like me at my sister's wedding last year. Hey-O!]

So I wasn’t so cute by the time I blacked out because my knee was bleeding profusely from the second stair fall, and my yellow costume was now a certain shade of brown. When daylight broke, I awoke to find myself on a couch in some strange bedroom. To my horror, it was a fraternity house, and THANK GOD no one was sleeping next to me, as I had the worst hangover in the history of my alcohol-consuming career.

In full Spongebob attire, I tried to gather my things and figure out where the hell I was. I only managed to find one heel–yes, I wore stilettos and a mini skirt with my Spongebob foam costume. I started to go outside and stumbled down the stairs in one heel, with dried blood streaks all over my legs, puke and beer stains all over my costume and raccoon eyes from sleeping with my make-up on. Little did I know that the annual Powelton Village Clean-Up was going on, which is when every fraternity, sorority, and student organization on Drexel’s campus walks around West Philly/Drexel picking up trash.

It gets worse from there…

This one bears retelling at our “Worst Ever” Story Slam in August, but in the meantime, if you’ve got a true story that needs telling–in a couple of photos, 5 minutes of video, or 1500 words–make an impression at impressions.firstpersonarts.org.