Every good story needs a dash of humiliation, a bit of humor, and of course a heaping mess of pure awkwardness. Adam had these elements down. Its no wonder he won “Best Story” in our 2009 Grand Slam during our Annual Festival. He took our theme of “Letting Go” much more literally than many of our other storytellers, and the results were hilarious. And maybe one day it can be used as an advertisement for tape. What a problem-solver. Intrigued? See the clip yourself!

Alex was an obvious winner. His performance in the 2009 Grand Slam won him “Best Presentation,” and its clear why, when you watch his video. Charming is simply an understatement.

Yet, it all began with “Man Movie Night Club” which was Alex’s brotherhood of manly men, where they celebrated their manliness by watching “man movies.” Not so charming, but soon enough Alex found a new hobby that posed quite a dilemma to his man club. Watch the video below to see for yourself.

There are countless things that could go wrong when picking up a hitchhiker, but occasionally we happen upon one that (underneath the “dirty old dirtbag’ demeanor) gives us a ‘fresh’ perspective. Ironic, yes. This was the story when Ky decided to pull over, (and immediately regretted) picking up a ‘dude’ on I-70.

Watch her tell the story herself in this YouTube clip. You have no excuse to miss it, as Ky is now officially (drum roll please…) The Best Story Teller in Philadelphia! She won our 2009 GrandSlam with rave reviews, and her story is a memorable one at that. Check it out below.

#1. Pregnant doctors who pee in stairwells.
(Its a true story)

#2. Our GrandSlam winner, who realized people could find her attractive while having absolutely no idea what her gender was. She learned this from an epic hitchhiker. What a story.

#3. Our ‘best presentation winner’ telling the ‘boys club’ he is actually a ballroom dancer. The best part was his demonstration of some of the ‘less masculine’ salsa moves, talk about flair.

#4. Only Kendra could make a story about thumbsucking not suck. What a cutie.

#5. Teenage boys are so smart – they call a cop an asshole, and then get a donut craving and decide to stop at the donut shop. Hmmm I wonder who would be there? Not the cops of course. Good plan boys, good plan.

#6. Last years winner’s glittering crown shown like a star. The winners story glittered too, it involved losing the girl he loved who was also his best friend, getting her back, and after many months of dating telling her “I told you so” in front of 400 people.

#7. Sometimes a bad situation turns into a good one. Say getting fired, then becoming eligible to buy a house? And then having the house more than quadruple in value over just a few years? Karma, I think so.

#8. Smushing into a packed house. Over 350 people in one small area got cozy.

#9. Chase just being her sassy self. That woman has stage presence.

#10. Our ‘best story’ winner telling the awkward details of some medical mayhem.

Title: First Person StorySlam April
Location: L’Etage, 6th and Bainbridge
Link out: Click here
Description: Doors Open at 7:30. $8 at the door. 21+
Start Time: 8:30pm
Date: 2010-04-27
End Time: 10:30pm

Title: First Person StorySlam February
Location: L’Etage, 6th and Bainbridge
Link out: Click here
Description: Doors Open at 7:30. $8 at the door. 21+
Start Time: 8:30pm
Date: 2010-02-23
End Time: 10:30pm

Title: First Person StorySlam January
Location: L’Etage, 6th and Bainbridge
Link out: Click here
Description: Theme: TBA
Description: Doors open at 7:30. $8 at the door. 21+
Start Time: 8:30pm
Date: 2010-01-26
End Time: 10:30pm

Rita Mae Brown, author of Rubyfruit Jungle, is headed to the concrete jungle of Philadelphia for a discussion of her newest book, Animal Magnestism.

As PGN, Philadelphia Gay News, said: “We love animals here at PGN, but Rita Mae Brown’s affection for all creatures great and small puts us to shame. Just go ahead and ask her about the menagerie she lives with. ‘[There are] 75 foxhounds, 19 bassets, 40 horses. Many are retirees and rescues,’ she said. ‘There are barn cats. In the house, there’s about seven cats and the same number of dogs.’”

Rita makes a great case for her love of animals, they are more instinctive, less judgemental, and they live in tune with reality. Come hear more about why she loves animals and how she wrote her newest memoir. Book-signing, presentation and Q&A are all coming up this Saturday from 4-5 PM at the Painted Bride. There will also be an animal adoption hosted outside of the Bride before and after her performance so you can buy your next best friend. Or if you are curious about her love of animals can support her pastime of foxhunting, check out the article written by PGN for more details.

The last storyslam of 2009 ended with a bang on Tuesday (for realz – some guy told a story about liquid nitrogen explosions).  I was lucky enough to host the event, themed “Showing Off,” and the walls of L’Etage were positively radiating with energy.  The slam started with a sagely older gentlemen giving all us young whippersnappers a word to the wise about impressing young girls – the last time he tried that he nearly got a concussion.  A young guy talked about his uncle’s white trash funeral, which proudly exhibited the polished urns of his dogs next to his cardboard makeshift casket.  The usual “chef’s special” hodge-podge mixture that Storyslams famously dish out included drunk rollerblading, bitchy lawyer ladies, with a side of bad dates and a fed-up “gifted” kid sprinkled on top.  Intermittently First Person Festival tickets were given out, with contestants “showing off” by performing ridiculous tasks that they drew from a cup.  A young girl managed to get the entire bar on their feet, hands-over-chest, singing the national anthem, and before that a boy hopped around and made his best monkey impression (which impressed Chris, a Storyslam regular who actually works at the zoo with monkeys).  The boy even offered to through feces, which wasn’t necessary but very much appreciated!
A Storyslam regular Kendra ended up taking the prize, with a story about working her way up in the performance world because her friends were too polite to tell her she actually sucked at singing.  She was kind enough to oblige the chanting audience with the song that had “come” to her over a course of a few weeks and spawned her brief songwriting career.  She proved that yes, she does suck at singing, but the song was hilarious and so was the story, which won her first place.  The judges were Ryan, last year’s Grandslam winner; Jen, who is actually my girlfriend and the reason most people will forever think the judging is rigged because I actually managed to somehow pick her, and a man I dubbed “Simon” for the night, since he was very…stingy…with points.
The slam was filled to the gills with fun, but I think everyone in that room on Tuesday would agree that there was a single, defining moment that will forever make the last slam of 2009 one for the record books.  That was when a seemingly mild-mannered, older woman named Chase that you’d expect to find in bed watching bad crime dramas, much less at a Storyslam, came to the stage.  She opened her mouth out came an absolutely wild, outlandish, wonderfully ridiculous story about her days as a single mother who stripped on the side to, as she put it, “earn that money, honey.”  The crowd screamed in laughter as she explained the physics behind nipple tassels and how the direction and speed was almost directly correlated to how much money guys would tip her.  Clearly Chase was an audience favorite, even among Kendra, the winner, and her story further cemented the fact that you just never know what to quite expect at a First Person Arts Storyslam.  While Chase’s story was a magical moment of Storyslam history, she ended up not winning by points (“Simon” had no appreciation for the science of stripping) but there is strong reason to believe you might find her in the Grandslam, thanks to the audience choice vote-in that’s new this year.

she won a new set of tassles!

So, if you missed this past slam, don’t sweat it.  The fun will probably explode at the Grandslam, which is a competition among all the past slam winners of 2009.  Imagine last night’s fun times HOWEVER MANY PEOPLE IN GRANDSLAM!  Woa!  Be sure to get your tickets, because people are very well aware of what a good time this event is and tickets will not last long!

Raeann Drew